Donald Wickham’s Blog

Exploring Relationships and Other Life Foundations

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A hodgepodge of maturity

August 30th, 2010 by Donald Wickham
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One of my mentors, one who has had a huge impact on my spiritual health and growth is Daniel Brown.  He has been on a round-the-world trip and has been blogging.  The following is an excerpt from a recent blog.  I commend it to you.

I felt very much like Paul must’ve felt. So many things in my heart, and yet I needed to lay a simple foundation. This is one of the dilemmas that pastors face in many countries — including our own. Overall, the lack of substantial and sustained teaching creates a hodgepodge of maturity levels among Christians. Where does the pastor begin? What basics need to be taught, in order to teach things that lead to greater maturity? Frankly, many pastors/teachers lack a systematic understanding of how the building blocks of the word of God fit together. This makes it extremely difficult to teach people in a sustained, coherent manner.

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Judgement makes sense, Grace doesn’t

July 23rd, 2010 by Donald Wickham
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Max Lucado has long been a favorite of mine.  He is so able to paint word pictures that really bring God’s truth to light.  Here is an excerpt.  Check out the whole article in the link

If God can tolerate my mistakes, can’t I tolerate the mistakes of others? If God can overlook my errors, can’t I overlook the errors of others? If God allows me with my foibles and failures to call him Father, shouldn’t I extend the same grace to others?

One thing’s for sure. When we get to heaven, we’ll be surprised at some of the folks we see. And some of them will be surprised to see us.

http://www.maxlucado.com/static/email_archive/2010/07.05.html

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God, the Great Evangelist

July 16th, 2010 by Donald Wickham
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Evangelism – brings fear and guilt for many of us, I know it does for me.  I know I should be more faithful to evangelize, after all, God commands it and people desperately need the good news.  But I struggle.  I don’t want to be pushy.  And, yes, I’m much too concerned about what they will think of me.   And, yes, I know it isn’t all about me anyway.

Last weekend, while visiting a friend’s church, I heard a message that, I hope and pray, will turn this around for me.  I thought I shared the highlights.   (See http://www.covfel.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=116861) for a recording.)

Acts 8:26-40 is the passage of Scripture.  This is the story of the Ethiopian eunuch and Phillip.  God tells Phillip to go to a particular place and there he hears the Ethiopian reading a portion of the Bible from Isaiah.  Phillip helps the Ethiopian understand who he is reading about and leads him into a relationship with Christ.

  1. God prepares people to hear.  He is at work in people’s lives preparing them to hear the good news of Jesus.  Very often this preparation has been going on for years getting them ready to hear the next “installment” of His love story.
  2. God is the initiator.  Holy Spirit prompted Phillip to go very specifically.  Phillip simply had to listen and then do what he was told.  And as a result of this listening and obeying, Phillip was also prepared to get involved with the person God led him to.
  3. God works through our relationships. God has us right where He needs us.  Our neighborhood, our workplace, our families and, even, our churches.
  4. God works through His word. The Ethiopian was reading from Isaiah and had questions.  God isn’t put off by questions.  Nor does He expect us to have all the answers before we talk with others.  Honest dialog around God’s word becomes a great way to share our experiences and let Holy Spirit bring about what He wants.

It isn’t my job to save someone.  I do get the privilege of participating with the process God is working in other’s lives.

So, as I go thru my day, attuned to Holy Spirit’s promptings, I can fully expect that He has prepared the folks He directs me to, to be prepared for whatever I can share.  I don’t have to “close the deal”, just share my piece.  God will take all the pieces and weave them into a great thing for that person.

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Sozo Ministry

July 8th, 2010 by Donald Wickham
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My wife and I have been exploring this ministry which is primarily a way to apply a set of tools under Holy Spirit’s guidance.   We are very excited about the reports we are hearing how God is setting people free and empowering them to bring restoration to desolate places.

I’ll keep you informed as we progress through the training and our experiences.  You can check it out at http://www.bethelsozo.com/.  The following is from their website.

SOZO: VERB

1 a: to save b: to heal c: to deliver
2: to save a suffering one, to make well, heal, to deliver from penalties of the Messianic judgment

SO, WHAT IS SOZO?

The Sozo ministry is a unique inner healing and deliverance ministry in which the main aim is to get to the root of those things hindering your personal connection with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Thus with a healed connection with Father, Son and Holy Spirit you can walk in the destiny to which you have been called.

  • Sozo is an inner healing/deliverance ministry
  • Sozo is simple, fast, Spirit led and effective
  • Sozo finds issues in minutes instead of years
  • Sozo helps heal your relationship with God to enable you to fulfill your destiny

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Respect – Bill of Rights

June 14th, 2010 by Donald Wickham
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BILL OF RIGHTS

Respect means I give myself and others the right to:

  • Space and privacy (e.g., knocking on doors before entering,  not opening one another’s mail, respecting each other’s needs  for quiet and space);
  • Be different (e.g., allowing preferences for food, movies, volume   of music, and how we spend our time);
  • Disagree (e.g., making room for each person to think and see  life differently);
  • Be heard (e.g., listening to each other’s desires, opinions, thoughts, feelings, etc.);
  • Be taken seriously (e.g., listening and being present to one another);
  • Be given the benefit of the doubt (e.g., checking out assumptions   rather than judging one another when misunderstandings   arise);
  • Be told the truth (e.g., counting on the truth when asking each other for information from “Did you study for the test that  you failed?” to “Why were you late coming home?”);
  • Be consulted (e.g., checking and asking when decisions will  affect others);
  • Be imperfect and make mistakes (e.g., leaving “room” for breaking   things, forgetting things, letting each other down unintentionally,  failing tests when we have studied, etc.);
  • Courteous and honorable treatment (e.g., using words that don’t  hurt, asking before using, consulting when appropriate,  treating each other as I-Thou’s); and
  • Be respected (e.g., taking one another’s feelings into account)

From: Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: Unleash the Power of Authentic Life in Christ (Peter Scazzero)

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Where’s the Delight?

June 9th, 2010 by Donald Wickham
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Delight, what in the world is it?  As I think on that word, I realize that it isn’t a word that I associate with my life.  And, to be honest, other than seeing the word in the Bible, I don’t really give it any thought.  But I’m beginning to realize that I should be, and not just thinking about it but living it.

The other morning, I heard a squeal of delight from my wife as she answered the door and there stood our son and his family whom we hadn’t seen in a year or more.  And, while they visited over a few days, I heard other expressions of delight, mostly from the very young children and mostly during play.

I was reading this morning in “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” and the author talked about delight.   As I’ve pondered this word and the living out of it, the verse in Psalm 37:4 came to mind which says “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.”   Clearly there is something very important that I (and might I suggest, we) have been missing.

So much of my Christian walk has been “doing” oriented: worshipping, studying, serving, praying, etc.  All good things but rarely taking time to just rest and delight in our Father and His love.  There is something twisted when my focus is on being about the Father’s business instead of just being.

So, how to change?  To live more in joy and delight than duty and obligation?  And, how to avoid turning this “delight” into a thing!   For me, the first step is simply asking Father, how would He like me to delight in Him.  Then, to stop.  Yes, just stop.  And listen.  I sense a big smile from Him.  That this learning to delight, and yes, it will be a learning or relearning process, is a doorway into a new, exciting and fun season with God.

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Danger of Ignoring our Emotions

May 21st, 2010 by Donald Wickham
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I’m reading Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: Unleash the Power of Authentic Life in Christ by Peter Scazzero.  It is great and I recommend it.

He quotes “The Cry of the Soul” by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman pg 24-25:

“Ignoring our emotions is turning our back on reality.  Listening to our emotions ushers us into reality.  And reality is where we meet God… Emotions are the language of the soul.  They are the cry that gives the heart a voice… However, we often turn a deaf ear— through emotion denial, distortion, or disengagement.  We strain out anything disturbing in order to gain tenuous control of our inner world.  We are frightened and ashamed of what leaks into our consciousness.  In neglecting our intense emotions, we are false to ourselves and lose a wonderful opportunity to know God.  We forget that change comes through brutal honesty and vulnerability before God.”

Some additional quotes from the book (Emotionally Healthy Spirituality):

Pretending was safer than honesty and vulnerability.

Our activity for God can only properly flow from a life with God.  We cannot give what we do not possess.  Doing for God in a way that is proportionate to our being with God is the only pathway to a pure heart and seeing God (see Mt 5:8).

We are too active for the kind of reflection needed to sustain a life of love with God and others.

One of the surest signs of her (Martha) life being out of order is that she even tells God what to do!

Mary is “being” with Jesus, enjoying intimacy with him, loving him, attentive, open, quiet, taking pleasure in his presence.

The reason we need to stop and be with God is so we might create a continual and easy familiarity with God’s presence at all times—while working, playing, cooking, taking out the garbage, driving, visiting friends, as well as during worship, prayer, and Bible study.  This requires that we slow down to pay attention.  Our goal is to love God with our whole being, to be consistently conscious of God through our daily lif—whether it is when we are stopped like Mary, sitting at the feet of Jesus, or active like Martha, taking care of the tasks of life.

Of course, God has made each of us different.  The question is how much time we need to be alone with God sl that Christ’s life flows out of ours.  Your combination of activity and contemplation will be different from mine.  God has crafted each of our personalities, temperaments, life situations, passions, and callings in a unique way.

…the goal of the Christian life is to love well.

Living and swimming in the river of God’s deep love for us in Christ is at the very heart of true spirituality.  Soaking in this love enables us to surrender to God’s will, especially when it seems so contrary to what we can see, feel, or figure out ourselves.  This experiential knowing of God’s love and acceptance provides the only sure foundation for loving and accepting our true selves.  Only the love of God in Christ is capable of bearing the weight of our true identity.

God has shaped and crafted us internally—with a unique personality, thoughts, dreams, temperament, feelings, talents, gifts, and desires.  He has planted “true seeds of self” inside of us.  They make up the authentic “us.”   We are also deeply loved.  We are a treasure.

Jesus models surrender of my will to the love of the Father as the true anchor for who I am.

I’m reading this book on my Kindle which doesn’t show page numbers.

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Easy Life or Challenges

May 8th, 2010 by Donald Wickham
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I was reading a powerful novel this week ( Wisdom Hunter by Randall Arthur)  and the following quote has really hit home.  What do you think?

An easy, routine way of life which many associate with stability and security only gives man stagnation.  Entrenched routine only spoils man and makes  him simple and weak.

On the other hand, progressive resistance in life always has the potential to give man progressive strength, and to make him progressively wiser…

Reistance makes a man think new thoughts he never thought before.   It makes a man ask questions he never asked before.  It makes a man seek answers he never sought before.  It makes a man beg God for help that he never before realized he needed.  These quests, quests of the heart and soul, eventually make a man deeper, wider, taller.

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Disciples or Students

May 5th, 2010 by Donald Wickham
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I’ve been chewing on the difference of “making a disciple” and “teaching students”.  For the purpose of this discussion, let me define what I mean by a disciple and a student.   A disciple is a learning, growing and serving follower of Christ.  A student is one who learns, gaining knowledge, but has little life change.   A student may attend the teaching but not ever become a follower of Jesus.

Jesus told us to make disciples and to teach them to obey everything he has commanded us. (Mt 28.19)   So let’s look at how most of the teaching is done today.

People attend church, small groups, classes etc and someone passes on information.  There isn’t anything wrong with information.  But how much of the information is retained?  For an hour, a day or longer.  Very little.  Sometimes we give tests or ask questions to find out how much they are retaining.  But is this making a disciple?

And the Bible warns us the knowledge puffs up. (1 Cor 8.1)  Is this a warning against gaining knowledge?  Clearly it isn’t as one of Holy Spirit’s gifts is knowledge.  And one of His ministries is teacher.  So knowledge, in and of itself, isn’t evil.  It is dangerous, however, if our only goal is to gain more and more knowledge without letting it transform us.

We can check ourselves in this by looking at how we deal with the knowledge we are obtaining.  Does it make us feel better than others or does it lead us to use what we gain to serve and help.  Where is our heart in this?

Perhaps that is how we should be looking at this.  Is all we are doing just adding to our head and our heart isn’t being affected?   The scriptures are full of instructions to have our heart involved and to be transformed.  Transformation isn’t just knowledge.  It is taking the truths that we are learning and letting them change us on the inside.

As I’ve been chewing on this, I’ve been wondering how we might help folks move from being just students (hearing and rarely doing) into being disciples?  One of the ways is looking how we can assist folks in discovering for themselves and not just telling them things.  When people are just told information, they retain very little.  However, when they are actively involved in the discovery process, they retain and use much, much more.

People are motivated to learn and apply things that help them in their everyday lives.  And God’s Word is full of this kind of help.  Our challenge, as teachers, is how to aid them in finding that help.  Here are some ideas along these lines.

  • Listen – get to know what issues people are grappling with.
  • Offer scripture portions relating to those issues
  • Ask them what they think those passages are saying about their situation
  • Help them find accurate understanding
  • Encourage them to apply what they have discovered from God

Students just want more and more knowledge.  Some of these students even become teachers but are unable to make disciples because they aren’t disciples themselves.

Disciples are actively engaged in discovering God’s Word and direction for them and applying it.   And they end up making other disciples as they do obey (put into practice) what they are learning and sharing.

I’d sure like to hear your ideas on how we can move our people from just being students into becoming active disciples.

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Loving as Christ Loves

April 27th, 2010 by Donald Wickham
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Since we are to love like Christ loves, we need to know how He loves.
How does Jesus love?
  • He pursues us
  • He takes the initiative
  • He doesn’t take offense
  • He wants what’s best for us even at His own expense
  • He is incredibly patient, never gives up
  • He protects
  • He sees the best in us
  • He relates to us exactly like each of us need
  • He corrects redemptively
  • He teaches and instructs
  • He comforts

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