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Missional Renaissance Part 1

January 27th, 2010 by Donald Wickham
Respond

I have been reading “Missional Renaissance: Changing the Scorecard for the church” by Reggie McNeal.  It is really resonating with me.  Here are quotes that spoke to me as I have been reading.

The perception of outsiders will change only when Christians strive to represent the heart of God in every relationship and situation.

They (churches) don’t focus beyond the church to be culturally hip.  They make this shift because the new direction defines who they are.

Much of their calendar space, financial resources, and organizational energy is spent on people who are not a part of their organization.

Today, people learn at their own speed, on their own time, at their own convenience.

These assumptions (held by churches for eons) are that people will be better off if they just participate in certain activities and processes that the church or organization has sanctioned for its ministry agenda.

The answer is that achieving abundant life will require intentional personal development.

We must change our ideas of what it means to develop a disciple, shifting the emphasis from studying Jesus and all things spiritual in an environment protected from the world to following Jesus into the world to join him in his redemptive mission.

…realizing that there is no such thing as spiritual growth apart from relationship health…

… church membership or some level of involvement in a local congregation will no longer be the primary spiritual expression of missional followers of Jesus.

No one can legitimately claim that our current model produces vibrant disciples.  North American church attendees lack the caliber and character of disciples that we see in many other parts of the world.

Clearly, the move away from affiliation is not a move away from God.  It does signal a disaffection for the institutional church that is changing the spiritual landscape drastically—and quickly.

The movement founded by Jesus was largely a marketplace phenomenon, an organic connection among people who were experiencing a way of life together.  The early days of the movement focused on simple teachings of Jesus, with particular attention to living lives of sacrifice and service to one another and to one’s neighbor.

The spiritual expression of Jesus followers was not characterized by a set of religious activities layered on top of other interests.  Jesus invaded all areas of life.  Church was not an event or a place; it was a away of life.

The spirituality the world needs must be robust enough to engage people where they live, work and play.

Their devotion to God is lived out in their determination to bless and to develop people who are made in his image.

…they will also have to demonstrate in their lives what it is they want people to do.

But be careful—once you start down this path, it will ruin you to the old world (way of doing things.)

Missional followers of Jesus don’t belong to a church.  They are the church.  Wherever they are, the church is present. Church is not something outside of themselves that they go to or join or support; it’s something they are.

Thinking about church in who mode focuses on what it means to be the people of God.  The central task is developing great followers of Jesus, believing that God has created people to demonstrate his redemptive intentions to the world in and through them.  This perspective frames an agenda so that the community of faith may encourage all its members to be faithful to God and to his mission as they live out being the church in the world.

Congregations often wind up inventing something that does not reflect the heart of God.  Then they ask God to bless them in their efforts, a mission that he had no hand in framing and has no heart for.

The missional church is the people of God partnering with God in his redemptive mission in the world.

Our job is not to “do church” well but to be the people of God in an unmistakable way in the world.

We are to be different in the hope we offer, in the grace we exhibit and in the obvious sacrifice of love we display in dealing with others.

Our “thereness” is what the world needs.  It needs the church to be there, addressing every brokenness caused by sin, reflecting the heart of God to the world as partners in his redemptive mission.

Still other missional Jesus followers will live out their missional expression in the marketplace of in some life hobby where they spend a good deal of time and have built significant relationships.

The missional follower of Jesus cannot conceive of their spiritual identity outside of being in accountable and encouraging relationships with other Jesus followers.  Church is not a part of life for the missional Jesus follower; it is a way of life with others who are on a similar journey.

It is a way of seeing oneself as partnering with God in daily life, executing the mundane as well as pursuing the sublime, with an intentionality of blessing people and sharing the life of God with them.

God chose to embody his blessing in a people who were to show the world who he is and what he wants them to enjoy.

God’s people reveal his heart to the world by declaring God’s person and story to the world and by demonstrating a way of life he intended people to enjoy.

Jesus can’t describe his mission any plainer that this.  He wants to help people get a life!

His kind of living substituted service for self-aggrandizement and trumped self-absorption by paying attention to others’ needs.

Not telling people the truth doesn’t serve them fully even if you love them.  Telling people the truth without loving them hardly encourages them to embrace it.

When the people of God act like the people of God, we actually help people see God.

People deserve to be blessed simply because they are people, not just so we can “witness” to them.

God’s mission is redemptive.  The welfare of people created in his image captures the heart and imagination of God.

Ever since the Word became flesh, the conversation about God has never been the same.  He is now having a new conversation with the church.

The popple of God play an important role in the mission of god.

God created a people to be his partner in his redemptive mission.  In that exchange, God initiates a covenantal relationship, meaning that the people of God have responsibilities to be the people of God.

The church that claims to be the people of God must submit itself to the role of participating in the mission of God in the world.

They are creating other ways of living their faith,  some in missional communities and others in marketplace expression.

Missional is not a place you arrive at but a direction in which you are moving.  It is a way of being in the world.

…their church’s vision is to love God and love others in profound ways.  They were willing to stake the “evidence of this vision” as being “seen through our demonstrated acts of service.”

I will continue to pass on more as I read.

(Note:  I’m reading on my Kindle and it doesn’t have page numbers.  These quotes are in the order they are presented in the book.)

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Forcing God to act

January 15th, 2010 by Donald Wickham
Respond

Have you every tried to get God to do something?  To give an answer or to take some action?  Come on, sure you have.  I know I have.   I think we do this a lot more than we think we do.  Perhaps unconsciously, but nevertheless, we try.

We search the Bible for how to get God to act.  We look for the “secret” that must be in there, don’t we?  After all, the Bible says that Elijah was a man, just like us, and he prayed and it didn’t rain for some 3 years.  So all we have to do is find out how Elijah prayed and pray that way and God has to come thru, doesn’t he?

We also look to rituals for the answer.  If we read so many chapters, or pray for so many minutes (or hours), or fast for so many days, God will have to answer, won’t he?  Why do people do pilgrimages?  Or even go into Christian service.  Some are trying to get God to do something for them.  It might just be trying to get God to accept and love them.  But it is still trying to force God to do something.

I’m in a season where God is being fairly quiet, as far as speaking to me.  I find myself getting anxious and looking around for what I need to do to get him to respond to me.  Maybe read the Bible more, pray more etc.  It really comes down to fear and trust.  Do I trust that my Father wants what’s best for me?  And that he is fully capable to do it?  That he loves me completely and accepts me?  Or do I need some response from him to make me feel secure?  That is fear driving me, not trust.

Jesus tells us to just ask.  To be specific as we ask but then trust not only that our Father hears but that he will provide and act in the best for us.

Can we come to him and let him decide how he will respond?  The when and the how?  Letting him be God?  Trusting him.  I choose to.

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Seeking a Word from God

January 1st, 2010 by Donald Wickham
Respond

As we begin a new year, many folks take time to pray and ask God for a “word” for the year, for His directions.  I know that I do.  And this is always a good thing to do.  But I have sensed some cautions.

The first is in the asking for that word or direction.  I’ve seen folks so focused on getting a word that they end up open to getting misled.  This has happened to me.  We are desperate to hear, to get instructions.  Almost a “give me a word or I’ll die”.  We fast, make promises, almost anything to get the Word.  We are trying to force God to speak to us.  This is a very dangerous posture.  The focus is on us, on being or getting control, trying to manipulate God to speak.  So we become open to any word, from God or not.  And, since we have been asking God for a word, we accept that what we hear must be from Him.  And that is how we end up deceived.  God will not be manipulated, not by our actions or desperation.

Another caution is our tendency to get a word from God and then take it and run with it.  Like we ask at the beginning of the year or a project, get the one word and say to God, thanks, see you next year.  I know that for me, I do this all too often.  As an example let’s say the word for the year is “Change”.  So from then on I’ll continually look for things that need to be changed.  Like it is my job to make this happen.  Any changes that come I immediately accept because God said this is a year of change.  No discernment needed.  What a mess this opens me up to.

A third problem is that we ask God so we can decide if it’s what best for us.  Since we aren’t sure we can trust God to give us good things, we are really just asking His opinion and we will measure it against what we want to do or what we feel is best for us.  With this approach, is it any wonder we rarely hear anything?

Here are some of my thoughts on how to avoid these difficulties.

  1. Come to Father God seeking Him first.  Seeking a relationship with Him.  Letting Him design that relationship according to how He wants it to be.  Asking for words and directions that He wants for us.  And accepting silence as well as a word.  Trusting that He will provide whatever we need, including directions, at the very best time.
  2. Continue to ask the “next” question when Father gives a word or instruction.  We need to know when to do something He tells us.  And how, and with who.  Stay in relationship.  Stay close, leaning into Him.  He doesn’t say “Go learn baseball”.  He says, “Come with Me and I’ll teach you baseball”.
  3. Remember that He is God and I am not!  That He loves me as I am and only wants what is best for me.  And as I grow in that love, I, too, will begin to love, sacrificially instead of just focusing on me.  Others need that love, too.
  4. Saying “Yes” before He tells us what.  That is really the essence of trust.

So let’s ask while we press into His love, trusting Him.

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Pass it on

December 19th, 2009 by Donald Wickham
Respond

A simple, but profound, idea: Take what you know and pass it on to others!  (2 Tim 1.1-2).

And might I add a corollary?  Receive from others with grace and pass it on as well.

For those who don’t think they have anything to pass on, don’t believe that lie.  God didn’t make any mistakes.  Not a single one.  He encourages us to ask Him.  So ask.  And share.  Please.

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Why “Our” Father instead of “My” Father?

December 12th, 2009 by Donald Wickham
Respond

When Jesus gave us an example of prayer, we call it the “Lord’s Prayer”, he started it with “Our Father”.  He could have told us to pray “My Father” and that would be true and very comforting.  To know, and live, with the truth that God is our Father, our Dad.  That he knows us completely and loves us.  But Jesus didn’t.  He said “Our”.

One of our major challenges, especially us men, is that we isolate.  We believe we are on our own and life is up to us to figure out.  And we take this tendency into our relationship with Jesus.  It’s “me and you, Jesus”.  Our focus, if we even think about it me centered with Jesus added on.  Now I’m not negating the importance of each of us needing to make an individual, personal, acceptance of Christ into our life, nor the need to be independently dependent on Holy Spirit.  What I’ve been coming to recognize, more and more, is the importance of “Our”.

As Jesus was facing his last hours before his death, he prayed for his followers (including us!).  He could have prayed about so many things.  But in Jesus’ last extended prayer in John 17, he really bore down on unity, oneness and being like the Godhead.  I find that very, very intriguing.  Since this oneness, we often call this community, is so important to him, shouldn’t it be important to us as well?  I think so.

So, as I, and I hope, we, move into this refocusing away from “myself” to “us”, what might that look like?

  • Choosing to live in “Our” even though we don’t really know what that looks like.  Not waiting for God to show us how to do it so we can then decide if we “like” that.  Choosing now to live in community, unity and oneness however God leads each group to live.
  • Praying for others.  Letting Holy Spirit guide us on what is on his heart and what he is doing in others’ lives and praying about that.
  • Letting Jesus deal with our “stuff” so we are more enjoyable for others to be around.  And when our stuff causes some conflict, and it sure will, learning to not take offence and be quick to forgive.  And asking other for forgiveness.
  • Choosing to join with others intimately.  Oy, that word again.  Us guys are not very comfortable with that word but let’s move past that.  To live in close relationship, knowing others and being known by them.  Letting Holy Spirit transform us “together”.   Being there for others.  Finding that small band of fellow travelers that God wants us to join with.  And letting the power that small group provides, flow into the larger gatherings of believers.
  • Living in this newness humbly without looking down on those who haven’t yet experienced the joys we are learning to relish.  Inviting them in, not condemning or pushing.
  • Asking Holy Spirit for insights and revelations to share with others for their encouragement.  Sharing the gifts God had placed in me for the benefit of others and for God’s glory.

I think there is a lot more opportunity for living in “us” instead of “me”.  I look forward to seeing how Father reveals it for us.

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Holidays – Joy or Stress

December 4th, 2009 by Donald Wickham
Respond

As we enter the Christmas holiday season there seems to be two, quite opposite, feelings that are evoked.  For some, there is great excitement and joy.  But for others, it is a time of stress and even depression.  I’d like to focus on the latter response and look at some causes and how those of us in that place, like me, can not just cope but turn it around.

Some causes of Christmas stress

  • Guilt – For those of us who enjoy giving gifts to others, not having planned our finances such that we can do so leads to guilt and condemnation.  Another is not paying attention to or knowing our family members well enough to know what they would like to receive.  And the media plays upon this trying to guilt us into extending (credit) beyond our means.  We also feel guilty about wanting gifts.  And fear disappointment about what we get or don’t get.
  • Obligation – Some of us were raised with the obligation to give, primarily to family members, whether we wanted to or not.  The giving is a requirement.  I contend that “giving” that is required isn’t giving at all but payment!  No joy in that.
  • Loss or separation from loved ones – For those who have lost loved ones during past holidays, each reoccurrence of the holiday is a stark reminder of that loss.  For those who have enjoyed spending time with loved ones over the holidays and those loved ones have moved too far away, there is a grieving of that loss as well.
  • Family duties – Then there are those family get-togethers from hell.  Even though there is little or no love, perhaps even anger or hatred towards some family members, we still have to put on a happy face and get together.  We’d rather have a root canal (apologizes to any dentists).

I’m sure there are other things that add to the stresses or depressions.  So what is a guy to do when he is NOT looking forward to the Christmas holidays?

First an observation that came to me last week.  As I looked at the causes above and my reactions I realized that it was all “me” focused.  “I” feel guilty.  “I” feel obligated.  “I” miss our kids.  “I” don’t want to go…  “I” don’t like to decorate the Christmas tree or put up the lights.  All me, my, mine.

The first step out is to recognize how much this season causes me to turn inward.  As I’ve been recognizing this I have a choice, continue in “me” or start turning around and looking at how I might help others have more joy in Christmas.  I chose the latter.

And accepting that I can set boundaries on my heart and time.  So here are some of the choices and actions I’m taking to not just cope this holiday season but to thrive.

  • My wife loves to decorate the house for the holidays.  So I’ve done what she asked me to do and then went and did more.  For her.
  • I will attend the church Christmas dinner and look for ways to encourage and bless those that are there.
  • I will share my story with others who might be struggling.
  • I’m looking at purchases for myself that I can give up in order to have some money to spend on others.  And I’ll look for creative gifts, within my budget, that will be a joy and blessing to those who receive them.

After all, Jesus chose to give up His place in Heaven to come to earth for our benefit.  And I want to be more and more like Him.  So I chose to let my heart be lifted by His grace and let that put a happy face on me that is real.

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Telling or Selling

November 21st, 2009 by Donald Wickham
Respond

I’ve been reflecting back on a conversation I was involved with early this week.  There was a particular position that was held quite strongly.  The way that position was presented is what got me to thinking.  When I hold a position or view quite strongly I tend to try to make the other person accept my view.  I “tell” them what is “right”.  Looking back at the response of the others I realize that they, like me, don’t like being “told”.  We bristle and throw up a defense, sometimes even if we don’t really disagree with the position but just because we are being “told”, forced to accept or believe.

This is particularly significant for me, as a reforming controller.  In the past, and hopefully much less now, I have tried to control others thoughts and actions.  Especially my family.  Didn’t work very well.  As I’ve repented and started working away from this I’ve seen that one of the ways I tried to control was by “telling”.  Actually trying to overpower or overwhelm the others into accepting what I said.

I’ve also had the privilege of leading a large team of real estate investors recently.   Since most of those involved were entrepreneurs and self-starters, controlling them to what I wanted wasn’t going to work.  And, given that I was no more experienced, even less so than some, trying to make the team do things my way wasn’t very wise.  So I had to learn to listen, and to offer my view or position, to try and “sell” it.  This offering or selling gives the other folks the opportunity to explore my ideas without feeling they have to protect or defend their own.

This brings to mind a couple of scriptures.  One where the Lord says to come, let us reason together.  Another is when Jesus said “consider the lilies of the field”.  An invitation to explore, discuss, evaluate and compare.  So, too, this seems to work better in conversations with other folks.

I admit that when the discussion is about things that I feel very strongly about, especially truth and right and wrong, that it is more difficult.  I really, really want the other person to change their view or position to the one I have.  I don’t want them to stay with a false or wrong view.  However, my “telling” them may cause them to resist me more than the truth.   If I can present my case less stridently or less challenging or judging, they, hopefully, will be able to listen.  If they stop listening in reaction to how I come across then they certainly won’t explore my view.

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More on our relationship with God

November 13th, 2009 by Donald Wickham
Respond

Back in June I wrote a blog on our relationship with God.    I wrote about the stages of that relationship.  Here is a portion of that blog.

1. No relationship – unaware that God offers one.
2. Antagonistic – resisting or even fighting God’s seeking us.
3. Accepting, surrendering – Receiving Christ as savior, being adopted into God’s family.
4. Master/Servant – Recognizing that God is God and I am not. Choosing to follow His ways.
5. Friends – Jesus said that he no longer looked on us as servants but as friends.
6. Best of friends, intimate friends, lovers – So close that we intuit the other’s thoughts and desires.

A couple of days ago, John Eldredge sent out, in his Daily Readings the following which expands on my thoughts.

As A Bridegroom Rejoices Over His Bride

11/11/2009

The Scriptures employ a wide scale of metaphors to capture the many facets of our relationship with God. If you consider them in a sort of ascending order, there is a noticeable and breathtaking progression. Down near the bottom of the totem pole we are the clay and he the Potter. Moving up a notch, we are the sheep and he the Shepherd, which is a little better position on the food chain but hardly flattering; sheep don’t have a reputation as the most graceful and intelligent creatures in the world. Moving upward, we are the servants of the Master, which at least lets us into the house, even if we have to wipe our feet, watch our manners, and not talk too much. Most Christians never get past this point, but the ladder of metaphors is about to make a swift ascent. God also calls us his children and himself our heavenly Father, which brings us into the possibility of real intimacy—love is not one of the things a vase and its cr aftsman share together, nor does a sheep truly know the heart of the shepherd, though it may enjoy the fruits of his kindness. Still, there is something missing even in the best parent-child relationship. Friendship levels the playing field in a way family never can, at least not until the kids have grown and left the house. Friendship opens a level of communion that a five-year-old doesn’t know with his mother and father. And “friends” are what he calls us.

But there is still a higher and deeper level of intimacy and partnership awaiting us at the top of this metaphorical ascent. We are lovers. The courtship that began with a honeymoon in the Garden culminates in the wedding feast of the Lamb. “I will take delight in you,” he says to us, “as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will I rejoice over you.”

(The Sacred Romance , 96, 97)

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So the question for each of us is this: Do we see ourselves as God sees us?  Are we wanting what He wants for us?  Are we willing to enter into this relationship with all its uncertainties and unknowns?  To give up trying to control our own lives (how has that been working for you?) and joining our Lover in what He has for us?

As for me, I’m no longer willing to just stay a servant.  I want to be a friend and a lover.

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Wisdom with Compassion

November 6th, 2009 by Donald Wickham
Respond

As I enter this stage of my life I’m listening to discern what it will be like.  I don’t sense so much that there are new mountains to be climbed or great enterprises to be won.  There is more a sense of “being there” for family and others, to come along side of more than leading the charge.  I’m continuing to read in John Eldredge’s book, Fathered by God.  Here is the section I was reading today.  I really spoke to me.

“There is something a man who has lived a full life carries with him that cannot be learned from a younger source, however smart that source might be.  The wealth of his experience is part of it, an essential part.  But I think you’ll notice that true sages offer the wisdom they’ve gained through experience with a sort of humility and tenderness, a graciousness I believe is best described as compassion.

It is a matter of presence.  A sage does not have to be heard, as a warrior might, does not have to rule, as a king might.  There is room in his presence for who you are and where you are.  There is understanding.  He has no agenda, and nothing now to lose.  What he offers, he offers with kindness, and discretion, knowing by instinct those who have ears to hear and those who don’t.  Thus his words are offered in the right measure at the right time, to the right person.  He will not trouble you with things you do not need to know, nor burden you with things that are not yet yours to bear, nor embarrass you with exposure for shortcomings you are not ready yet to overcome, even though he sees all of that.  For he is wise, and compassionate. “

Chapter 8. Sage – Just before the section the section “Undeveloped and Wounded”.  (I’m reading from a Kindle which doesn’t show the page numbers.)

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Active Listening

October 30th, 2009 by Donald Wickham
Respond

I’ve been reading “transforming together – Authentic Spiritual Mentoring” by Ele Parrott.  I’m finding it very helpful.  Lots to chew on.  Note that she is writing from her experience mentoring women.  Her insights, however, I believe are valid for men as well.  This is an excerpt on active listening.  Something I need to become better at doing.

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Our objective as spiritual mentors is to come alongside of another, partnering with who the Holy Spirit is being in her life by infusing truth into her reality…period.  The focus is to always remain on Jesus, not on us.  We are to take the other person to Jesus, to make her independently dependent on Him.  They are to become followers of Jesus, not followers of us.

Active listening helps us to be effective junior partners to the Holy Spirit.  How?  By not short-circuiting who the Spirit is being in the lives of others.  When we say, “Oh, I know just how you feel,” we short-circuit the Holy Spirit in their lives.  Why?  Because we are assuming the role of someone far greater than ourselves.  We are usurping the position of the Holy Spirit!  Only the Holy Spirit knows exactly how one feels.  We many have very good intentions in saying that we know.  But we don’t know.  We are unable to know.  Only God knows and we must partner with Him for the good of the mentee and the glory of God.

Being a spiritual mentor is serious stuff!  It’s not flitting into a room full of other women gathered around round tables.  It’s not viewing a DVD together and then breaking into groups to talk about it.  It’s not going on a weekend retread and sharing morning devotions.  It’s so much more, so much deeper, so much more effective, and so much more honoring to God.  It is partnering with the Holy Spirit in the life of another person.  And that is amazing.

But there is responsibility in the call.  And becoming an active listener is very useful, very helpful tool to employ when mentoring another.

After allowing the person who is sharing to thoroughly “empty out” without making any comments in response, the active listener further enhances what the Holy Spirit desires to accomplish in the sharer’s life by asking insightful questions.  Insightful questions are questions that help the sharer better understand herself or the situation.  Insightful questions are not to be used to gather unnecessary information for ourselves about the mentee.  At times there is a fine line between the two, but the motivation of asking the question should be to clarify what the person has said, not to satisfy your own curiosity.

I’d like to give you a list of clarifying questions that you may want to memorize.  These are open-ended questions that help you as you partner with the Holy Spirit in the lives of your mentees.

  • “Would you like to tell me more?”  (This is always good to ask before making the assumption that the mentee is finished sharing.)
  • “How does [fill-in-the-blank] make you feel? (Succinctly restate what you thought you just heard.)
  • “What are your options in this situation?”
  • “How do you find yourself praying about this?”
  • “What do you think Jesus is trying to teach you through this?”
  • “How can you glorify God in this situation?”  (This, by far, is a very valuable question to ask.  It takes away the “why” of the situation and replaces it with a “how.”  This is exactly what the Holy Spirit would like us to choose to do.)

Pgs 89-91

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Any thoughts or comments?  To us all becoming better listners.

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