Donald Wickham’s Blog

These thoughts are from a man’s perspective.  As I am of the male gender, that is all I can do.  One of my callings is to minster to men, young and old.  As I’ve continued to grow in this lifestyle I’ve been encountering two main approaches to working with other men.   The first, and most common, is challenging men with their short-comings.  The second, and my preference, is to challenge with the opportunity and an invitation to join the journey. I admit that I have a bias, partly coming from my gifting which is to encourage.

Prodding with duty and obligation

The list of short-comings and failures of men in general and for each individually is, sadly, all too long.  One approach of “helping” men is to continually point these issues out and remind us of our “need” to repent and improve.  And, all too often, there is an implied or even stated view that until we get our acts together, God is unhappy with us, perhaps even opposing us.

There are a number of problems with this approach.

1. We are distanced from an unhappy or angry God.
2. Duty and obligation only go so far in causing life changes and, rarely, permanent ones.
3. We hide and become posers.
4. It leads to fear and guilt which are not God’s way of bringing positive change.
5. It leads us to disconnect from other men.

Note that when Jesus was raising up his followers he was continually confronting the religious leaders who “led” in this style.

Challenging with opportunity and invitation

So how did Jesus lead his men?  “Follow me and become fishers of men.”  An opportunity (to be fishers of men) with some mystery.  And an invitation to follow his leading.  Look at how often, prior to healing someone, he asked them what they wanted, even though it was painfully obvious what they needed.  He still does the same with us. He offers himself and a life of purpose and invites us in.   All we have to do is ask for his help, to give him permission to bring about the changes we need.    As we rise to the challenge and accept the invitation, he then begins the healing and transformation that we so desperately want.

As leaders of men, this is the model I believe we should follow.  Sharing the opportunities for healing, freedom, growth, service, purpose, life.  Inviting the men into this life.  Let the built in hunger and thirst that we have, fueled by Holy Spirit, draw us to accept and join.

Please, let us stop trying to drive and prod others into obedience which almost always has the opposite effect.  Let us invite them into this incredible relationship with God that He wants and let Him bring about the life He wants for each.

Tags:   challenge · duty · e · healing · invitation · leading · obligation · opportunity · poser · prodding · separation · TransformationNo Comments