Donald Wickham’s Blog

I thought this was great.  I’m reposing a newsletter from Christopher McCluskey, PCC, CMCC.

I have just finished reading a book Rachel gave me for Christmas entitled ‘The Church of Facebook’ by Jesse Rice, former worship arts director at John Ortberg’s church in Menlo Park, California.

Rice offers a fascinating look at the ways in which email, instant messaging, cell phones, texting, blogging, and particularly social media such as Facebook, MySpace and Twitter are changing the ways we think about and experience community & connection.

Rice offers observations of particular interest to us as coaches:

“If we are to make sense of why certain kinds of connection are beneficial and certain others aren’t, we must be more precise in our definition of ‘connection’. We have to get clear on what kind of connection has the power to secure, grow, free, and transform us.” (p. 45)

“…the recipe for the kind of connection we’re trying to define is one that includes authenticity and depth. It is sprinkled with protective safety and dignifying freedom. It contains heaping portions of loving concern for our becoming a better, more whole person. It is seasoned with access to transformative power.” (p.47)

Sounds like, among other things, a strong discipling relationship!

Citing such trends as the disappearance of small communities (and even front porches), transient careers and employment, breakdown of marriage and the family, and the ever-present influence of media and pop culture, he argues that our core need for community & connection – for ‘belonging’ – is becoming increasingly difficult to meet.

One result is the unprecedented movement to ‘virtual communities’ in which we can feel instantly and constantly connected, even as that connection often serves to further erode our connection with real-world relationships. Rice again:

“While our social connections are growing exponentially, the number of people with whom we feel safe to trust the most important parts of ourselves is clearly shrinking.

…the more connected we are, the more the quality of our connections suffer.’ (p.109)

“In effect the hyperconnection of Facebook changes the nature of our relationships by turning our friends into audiences and us into performers.” (p.112)

The implications of that last sentence are extremely disturbing.

Rice doesn’t advocate a flight from technology but he does emphasize the importance of wisdom, discernment and restraint in its use. He also urges a fresh commitment to authenticity in our relationshps, both real and virtual.

“…our true nature – that is, our nature that reflects the image of God – is naturally oriented toward personal responsibility. It is naturally oriented toward intimacy. It is naturally oriented toward caring for the needs of others. It is naturally oriented toward working hard for what matters most.

As a result, when we think, speak, and act from our true nature, we will always be a benefit to others while reaping benefit for ourselves. Conversely we can know that whenever we choose to act carelessly, choose to relate superficially, choose to avoid the difficult stuff in life merely because it’s uncomfortable, we are not living out of our true nature. Instead we are being inauthentic.” (p.207)

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