I tend to be a very task oriented person. Getting a task done can become almost an obsession. When I’ve promised to get something done, I’m driven to do it and feel guilty if it isn’t done as promised. Am I the only one with this problem? In case I’m not, let me share some thoughts.
Task oriented people have tunnel vision. When I’m focusing on a task or project, I lose sight of those around me. My family and friends become a distant blur and their needs become an unwelcome interruption. Even the person I’m doing the task for is pushed away. Time and energy can become irrelevant. The task is primary. Getting the task done is all consuming. As I write this, I realize that I let the task become an idol. It controls me.
There is an irony about completing the task. Here I’ve been consumed by the task to get it done but when it is complete I’m left feeling not enjoyment or relief but disappointment. I’m left adrift until I find another task to take its place. So getting the task done isn’t really the objective at all, it is having a task to be engaged with. Something is definitely out of balance here.
And just telling myself, don’t get all wrapped up in the task is like yelling at the sun to not rise. Not likely. Something is underlying this compulsion. So therein is the challenge. Find out the root and deal with it. The peace and rest that Jesus promises isn’t occurring.
Some of the things I’ve discovered:
- Guilt – If I don’t have a task to be working on, I feel guilty that I’m “wasting” time.
- Value or Purpose – Tasks that I need to do, especially ones that only I can do, make me feel important, having a purpose.
- Relationship avoidance – If I’m busy (a constant goal) then I have a valid excuse to not work on relationships. Or I try to make the relationship a task and no one likes to feel they are a project.
- Numbs desire – This is one I’ve only recently been aware of. The desires of our heart, the ones God placed in us, are a good thing. However they are dangerous, at least they feel that way. They draw and pull me. Yet I’m afraid they are unattainable or will take me somewhere I don’t want to go. So, by working on tasks, I can keep the desires at bay.
What is a guy to do?
As I’ve heard before, recognizing that there is a problem is the first step in overcoming it. And making solving the task problem a task itself, isn’t going to help, at least I doubt it will. Here are some of the things I’ve been doing to overcome this.
- Repenting of this and asking God for His healing and transformation.
- Choosing to love others first. Making a conscious decision to not let the task be more important that people. Asking them to let me know when I’ve fallen back into the task way of living.
- Learning to be a human “being” instead of a human “doing”. (I know, it’s a cliché but true for me.)
- Embracing my new heart as good and exploring the desires God has given me. Taking time to just rest in God’s acceptance and love. Learning to trust that everything that God has given is good!
So that’s my thoughts for today. I’d love to hear from you. Is this a problem for you? How have you overcome it?
Tags: challenge · consumed · contol · desire · Guilt · purpose · Relationship avoidance · task · task oriented1 Comment
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