Donald Wickham’s Blog

I was reading another blog, “To Trust or Not to Trust” and it has got me to thinking. The author’s premise was that we should only trust God and no one else. Love them, yes, trust them no. I think I understand where they are coming from but I take issue with it.

The first is the difficulty we have with the word “trust”. You either trust someone or you don’t, or do we? I’ve come to the belief that there is actually a continuum of trust. From complete and total distrust all the way to complete and total trust. Note that we have to add qualifiers to the word trust. And I think that is the issue.

Complete and total trust can and should only be placed in our loving Heavenly Father. He alone promises to never leave or forsake us. I remember a line from the Narnia book when one of the children asks if Aslan is safe. The answer is no, he isn’t safe but he is good. God is good, in fact He alone is good. (Another word that usually requires qualifiers. Certainly there are “good” people. But completely good is reserved only for God.

When we place our trust in others we usually are looking at how safe they are. We use the phrase, can we trust them? The level of trust depends on the relationship we have with them. We “trust” other drivers to obey the laws and drive safely. Yet we don’t completely trust them, we keep an eye out for “crazies”. But if we didn’t have some level of trust we would not be able to drive anywhere. We “trust” our doctors to provide the right care. We trust our spouse to be faithful. Different levels of trust for different relationships.

Ironically, giving someone our trust is much like loving them. We know that opening ourselves to love (and trust) means that we will be hurt. For those who have been badly hurt (betrayal, abuse etc) trusting and loving comes very hard. The only way to avoid the pain is to love no one and trust no one. But that isn’t much of a life. Those who live that way are cold, bitter and withdrawn.

So what are we to do? I think that trusting in God is what enables us to have a greater level of trust in others. And when we are hurt to know that our Father walks with us thru the pain. Jesus was betrayed by those closest to him. But that was not the end of the story. His faith and relationship with Father God enabled Him to forgive and restore those who had hurt him. That is our example. Listening to God’s direction on what to do with the damaged relationship is key. Forgiveness keeps us from bitterness and separation. Following God’s leading does not promise no pain but He does promise to walk with us thru it.

Of the 53 “one anothers” in the New Testament, none tell us to “trust” one another. However, neither do any tell us to distrust everyone. Part of love is trusting. Opening ourselves on behalf of others. And growing in love with others does require a level of trust, even knowing that there will be pain. But it is worth it. Sometimes, the relationship that develops after broken trust is stronger and deeper than before.

So my encouragement would be to trust unless the Holy Spirit warns not to. And when trust is broken, forgive and attempt to repair. Relationship is too important.

Tags:   Aslan · betrayal · complete trust · continuum of trust · Distrust · forgiveness · levels of trust · love · Narnia · relationship · safe · TrustNo Comments